“But both of them are very different, Marshall. One is the black moon and the other is the golden sun. One is a wrecking ball, the other one is a dandelion in the wind. One is a forceful spring that makes its own riverbed wherever it goes. The other one is meandering like a huge, calm waterway that has found its peace in the valley. It’s so gentle, it’s invisible.

“They seem like the total opposite. How could the twelve principles work on them both? “I’m not sure how that would work out. If I inhabit Pixie, and Isaac inhabits Charlene, wouldn’t the same principles just separate them further apart?”

“That’s a great question, Pixie. I see where you are coming from. But love is not about maths. It doesn’t work with statistical precision. Or,  rather, it isn’t simple math – it is a complex function – university level math. It is not a simple addition or extraction with pluses and minuses. It’s not linear. It doesn’t go one way only on a straight line.”

“It’s circular, concentrical, multidimensional, irrational. Just like irrational numbers. Pure chaos, sometimes. Gosh, I blabber too much about maths and our minutes are numbered…” 

“So, principle number three is pretty simple, short, and sweet: in love, there is no calculation. If you are calculating and representing people and their actions through numbers or put them on an end of a spectrum, you are not loving, you’re manipulating. Love is horizontal. No one is better or worse. Everyone is a human being deserving of respect and reverence. See what I mean?”

“Fine, but we do have some hierarchy as dogs. And it can sometimes get pretty violent. It’s not that everyone is equal.”

“Ah, yes… It can get violent. Bloody feral, you are right.”  

The corners of Marshall’s eyes swelled with unresolved memories as he remembered the number of canines he loved and that loved him back through the years. The wet sparkle made his big sad pug eyes even bigger and his wrinkly, downward-facing, frowny muzzle even heavier as he remembered the dogs that left him. 

Some of them were like family. “My own family,” he thought. “And now, there is no one left. I am the oldest. From time to time, it can feel terribly alone.” Such heavy thoughts were frequent visitors lately as he was becoming more and more aware of the shortness of a dog’s life, so much shorter than what humans get on average.    

“But dogs never hurt each other out of spite or pure evil, like humans often do, Pixie. For food and shelter, maybe. Sometimes, when they are young and stupid, out of fear. But never, never just to cause pain… And what’s even more important, they never hurt themselves on purpose.” 

“We have an incredibly healthy sense of self-preservation. Which brings us to principle number four: your love must always include yourself, too, otherwise, it’s not love.

You see, I’m not sure either one of our targets for tonight knows how to do that properly. On the surface, it looks like Daniel is completely in love with himself. All that bloated self-esteem and high opinions about himself would make you think he truly loves himself. But all that overworking, overexercising, overdrinking, hooking-up, is that really a sign of self-love?”

“Think about it, Pixie! What would happen if you forget how to sleep, eat well, form long-lasting bonds with other dogs, and nourish your soul by doing what becomes us naturally? And that is to love like we are the love masters of the universe!” 

Pixie listened thoughtfully and started thinking about Charlene: “I guess Marshall is right. All that softness and passivity can’t be good for her. Does she put herself into the love equation? Why is she letting people walk all over her, especially that arrogant, bull-headed, deeply unhappy colleague of hers, Daniel?”           

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